ZETSU:
Right now you are down and out and feeling really crappy

TOBI:
I'll say.

ZETSU:
And when I see how sad you are
It sort of makes me...
Happy!

TOBI:
Happy?!

ZETSU:
Sorry, Tobi, human nature-
Nothing I can do!
It's...
Schadenfreude!
Making me feel glad that I'm not you.

TOBI:
Well that's not very nice, Zetsu!

ZETSU:
I didn't say it was nice! But everybody does it!

D’ja ever laugh when Rock Lee blew Sakura his kisses?

TOBI:
Yeah...

ZETSU:
And ain't it fun to watch Lee’s face when he finds out that he misses?

TOBI:
Sure!

ZETSU:
And don'tcha feel all warm and cozy,
Watching Jiraya in the rain!

TOBI:
You bet!

ZETSU:
That's...

ZETSU AND TOBI:
Schadenfreude!

ZETSU:
Wait until he meets our good friend Pein!

TOBI:
Oh, Schadenfreude, huh?
What's that, some kinda Hidan word?

ZETSU:
Yup! It's German for "happiness at the misfortune of others!"

TOBI:
"Happiness at the misfortune of others." That is Hidan!

Hidan’s body parts lying at the bottom of a sealed hole

ZETSU:
Or Kakuzu getting beat by Naruto killing his last soul!

TOBI:
Going on a mission and hearing “Wait for me!”

ZUTSU AND TOBI:
"No!!!"
Schadenfreude!

ZETSU:
Naruto’s dangling from a tree.

TOBI:
Ooh, how about...
Itachi killing Sasuke’s clan?

ZETSU:
Sasori losing to his gran!

TOBI:
Itachi starting to go blind!

ZETSU:
Sasuke almost getting mined!

TOBI:
Sakura being real lame!

ZETSU:
Deidara looking like a dame!

TOBI:
Orochi making Sasuke show

ZETSU AND TOBI:
His brand-new sound gay purple bow!
Schadenfreude!
Schadenfreude!
Schadenfreude!
Schadenfreude!

ZETSU:
The world needs people like you and me who've been knocked around by fate.
'Cause when people see us, they don't want to be us, and that makes them feel great.

TOBI:
Sure!
We provide a vital service to society!

ZETSU AND TOBI:
You and me!
Schadenfreude!
Making the world a better place...
Making the world a better place...
Making the world a better place...
To be!

ZETSU:
S-C-H-A-D-E-N-F-R-E-U-D-E!